(no subject)

[kevingaustin]

Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon (101%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Linux (135%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

USA (100%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]

Junkfood (120%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi (230%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Free BSD (135%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Cthulhu (130%)
Read some Enid Blyton.

Gaming (130%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Amiga (120%)
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.

Religion (180%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

8-Bit (110%)
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

UNIX (130%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Discordia (200%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

vi (120%)
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

Politics (120%)
Stop caring!

Hippyism (110%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Conspiracy Theory (165%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Environmentalism (103%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh (100%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Goth (65%)
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.

British (65%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Japan (90%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Brand Names (85%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.